Old Man
by selfstarter
Summary: Apparently, Snape doesn't like being reminded of his age. Two chapters. PWP. Warnings: AU, Angry Desk Sex, Spanking, Language, Snark, Sarcasm, Excessive Italicizing,and Eyebrow Raising. Awkward post-sex talk will be in the sequel.
1. Chapter 1

This started as a drabble and then Severus Snape demanded that I tell the story properly. And who am I to deny that man anything? I mean really.

**Note:** I've noticed on a few Snanger fics that people flame in the comments about paedophilia and inappropriate relationships and blah dee fucking blah. I have three things to say about that. One: You'd have to be looking for a Snanger fic to find one on this website. So why are you complaining about the story if _you're_ the one who went looking for it? Two: Flaming is a huge waste of your and the author's time. Go away. Three: If you flame this story just to be an arse, expect a scathing, Snape-inspired, commentary on your intelligence or lack thereof, in response.

**Warnings: AU, OOC **(But only a little), **Angry Desk Sex, Spanking, Language, Snark, Sarcasm, Excessive Italicizing, Eyebrow Raising, and Awkward Post-Sex Talk**

**Anti-Litigation Charm: **I don't own any of the Harry Potter franchise because if I did, Severus Snape would be alive and well and shagging Hermione Granger on any and all surfaces of his home at every opportunity. And they'd have bushy haired, black-eyed babies. Also, I make no money from this. None. Shame.

**Song Rec: **_**Fever**_ by **Bullet for My Valentine **because Matt Tuck makes me think of sex no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

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><p>"Miss Granger…"<p>

"_Miss Granger! _Kindly _pay attention!"_

Hermione Granger let out a long-suffering sigh before rolling her eyes and raising her gaze to meet that of her former professor.

"And how can I help you today sir?"

He sneered as he was wont to do when annoyed.

"If you'd be so kind as to pull your head out of your arse and go get the minister I'd be _eternally grateful._"

Pinching the bridge of her nose in a futile effort to fend off the migraine building, she regarded the man as calmly as she was able.

"Even if I was more than a secretary and capable of commanding the minister to do anything, he's not here. He left for lunch and he won't be returning for another hour."

He muttered under his breath for a moment before returning his glare to her.

"I find myself _astounded_ that they'd put someone as young and incompetent as you in charge of the minister's affair. Brightest witch of her age my left arse cheek."

Biting down the urge to smack the man in his scowling face, Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, the fire in them made Snape take an instinctive step back.

Hermione rose slowly and leaned across the desk, balancing her weight on her hands.

"Professor Snape, _sir_, I don't know why you insist on hating me even after I saved your life, but allow me to clarify a few things for you.

"One, I am not a first year for you to intimidate. While they may be prone to pants-wetting bouts of terror at the sound of your voice in Hogwarts, that will not happen here.

"Two, I am not your student. Any aspersions cast on my intelligence, appearance, or personality will be met with the appropriate hex. And allow me to assure you that no one will object if I see fit to shrivel your bollocks with the spell Ginny taught me when I caught Ron mid-coitus with one Lavender Brown."

At some point during this speech, Hermione has stepped away from and circled her desk. She was now standing directly in front of Snape, who had his back to the desk. He glowered down at her but remained silent as she continued her harangue.

"Three, I am, no matter what you may believe, a woman. You _will _speak to me as such or you will again find yourself on the receiving end of a nasty series of hexes resulting in a mandatory state of celibacy for no less than three months."

She raised an eyebrow in a perfect mockery of his own expression from years past while she observed him. He continued scowling at her but didn't speak. Whether his silence was a result of shock or anger, Hermione didn't know.

"I'll take your silence as understanding and acquiescence, then."

The two stared at each other for a long moment. So long, that Hermione started when he spoke.

"In what magical fairy princess land are you living, Miss Granger, that you think you can intimidate me? Your pathetic threats, no matter how impassioned they may have been, were nothing more than amusing, little girl."

"Be that as it may, I spoke the truth. I'm not afraid of you old man.

Later, Hermione would wonder why she was so intent on baiting the man. What could she possibly gain from angering him? What satisfaction could possibly come from arguing with a man well known for his temper?

"I'm not so old that I can't teach you a few lessons in manners, you insolent child."

His voice was smooth. Calm even. Nothing like the harsh tone she had been expecting. She fought back the involuntary shiver as his voice made its way over her body. No _fucking_ way was she getting aroused at the sound of the bastard speaking. It just wasn't _right_.

Hermione stepped forward, invading the man's personal space until she had to look up to address him.

"You're more than welcome to try, but I must caution a man of your _advanced_ years against such strenuous activities. Surely it can't be good for your health."

"Watch yourself," he hissed.

Throwing caution, and sanity, to the wind, Hermione tilted her head and smiled up at him.

"Bring it on." She dropped her voice to a whisper and batted her eyelashes as she spoke. "Old man."

Somewhere in a rational world, Severus Snape sneered at her, tossed a few particularly vitriolic barbs at her, and then stormed out of her office in a swirl of black robes.

In this one, he kissed her.

He grasped her face between his large hands and slanted his mouth over hers. Heat and passion exploded in her in an instant. The scent of his aftershave, spicy and strong, and something that was more subtle, distinctly male, and completely him, surrounded her And as much as she wanted to deny him, Hermione kissed him back. Everything around her melted away and left only him. Finally they broke apart, Hermione gasping for air. She met his heavy-lidded gaze and saw the lust burning in his black-eyed gaze.

Her brain, deprived of oxygen, was incapable of creating any words more profound than a gasped, "What the fuck?"

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><p>There will be sex. I swear it. I already wrote half of the smut scene, actually. I just can't figure out a logical way to get them there. Ugh. Writer problems.<p>

For those of you waiting for the update on my Dramione story, _More Than We Bargained For_, fear not. I haven't abandoned the story, I swear. I had to re-program my computer and in the process I lost a good portion of the story, so I have to re-write the last few chapters from memory. Have I mentioned that my memory sucks? A lot. the next chapter is about 60% finished, I promise. Have faith and don't send me hate mail please.

**Next Chapter:**

___Shaking and nearly sobbing with pleasure, Hermione blearily lifted her head off the desk and spoke haltingly. "Please...f-fuck me…suck me… anything…p-please."_


	2. Finally

The long-awaited smut chapter. Have at it my darlings. Also, this is completely unrelated, but with all of the SS/HG fic I read, can I just say how bloody sick I am of the word "dunderhead"? He said it _one time_.

**Warnings: AU, OOC, Angry Desk Sex, Spanking, Language, Snark, Sarcasm, Excessive Italicizing, Eyebrow Raising, and Awkward Post-Sex Talk**

**Anti-Litigation Charm: **I don't own any of the Harry Potter franchise, because if I did, Severus Snape would be alive and well and shagging Hermione Granger into any and all surfaces of his home, at every opportunity. And they'd have bushy haired, black-eyed babies. Also, I make no money from this. None. Shame.

**Song Rec: **Closer by Nine Inch Nails because c'mon.

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><p><em>Her brain, deprived of oxygen, was incapable of creating any words more profound than a gasped, "What the fuck?"<em>

There was that damned eyebrow again. "Language, Miss Granger," he drawled. "We must remember to be polite. And as I recall, you rather enjoyed it." The last bit he whispered in her ear with a voice low and soft and dangerous in the extreme. Verbal torture to her already frazzled mind. Later she would wonder where she found the mental capacity to form complete sentences.

_No, what we must do is figure out why you thought it prudent to shove your tongue down my throat_, she thought, but the words never reached her mouth. She was far too focused on his predatory gaze. Was he legilimising into her mind? _Look away fool_, her subconscious chided.

He laughed as he played witness to her internal battle. "You may ask me to leave at any time, if you're uncomfortable." Leave? Why would she ask him to do that? And gods, but his laugh. It inspired all sorts of inappropriate and depraved imagery in her mind. Imagery he had a front-row seat for.

His gaze was hooded as he watched her fantasies play themselves out. When he was satisfied, he broke the mental link, leaving Hermione gasping and clutching for her desk behind her.

"What a filthy mind you possess," he sneered. "Lucky for you, I'm willing to indulge the twisted little fantasies of your school days." At her look of shock and gasp he smirked down at her. "Oh yes, I saw the crush you harboured for your Potions professor. What would Minerva say if she knew that her prized Head Girl left the dungeons with wet knickers ever Wednesday and Thursday afternoon?"

His eyes well ablaze with lust now. A quick glance down at his trousers confirmed it. Presented with the incontrovertible proof that Severus Snape, Potions Master and Bastard Extraordinaire, _wanted_ her, Hermione's mind quickly weighed the pros and cons of letting him "indulge her twisted little fantasies". He wouldn't cling, there'd be no expectations of a call the next day or future dates, and based on what was before her she'd definitely enjoy it. Oh he'd be rude and crass and no doubt, he'd enjoy rankling her about it in the future, but what did she really have to lose?

"Alright then," she whispered. "Indulge me."

He had the gall to smile then. As if he'd been expecting her to throw all caution to the wind and say "Fuck me." He turned and silently warded the office.

When he finished, he turned back to her. "I want to see what you look like now. Unbutton your blouse."

It killed her to admit it, but Hermione couldn't disobey him. Didn't want to. He was leading her somewhere with that sexy voice. Somewhere she'd never been. Somewhere she wanted to go. Hermione unbuttoned her blouse and drew it off of her shoulders.

"Beautiful," said Severus, a note of approval in his voice. "Exactly how I'd pictured it on you. But your hair's all wrong. It should be piled on your head. Do it."

That last phrase came out stronger, more like an order. Without thinking, she filled her hands with her hair and pulled it to the top of her head. It felt thick and silky against her hands. She'd never been quite so aware of the feel of her hair before. Snape walked across the office with deliberate slowness. When he got to her side, he walked around and from behind, felt his finger touch lightly on the back of her neck. There was an involuntary shiver as he traced his finger along the side of her neck, down the rounded front of her shoulder, into the crevice between her breasts, creating a trail of fire wherever he touched. Then he delved under the lace of her bra. Unbearable excitement filled her as he lifted her nipple away from the fabric.

"Mm," he said noncommittally as he examined her nipple. He reached around her back and brought the other one out of its nest. His body, strong and smelling of some kind of aftershave, pressed against her. In the office window, she saw their reflection. His intent face bent over her shoulder, his hands at her front, tugging at her nipples.

"You've had an interesting morning, haven't you," he murmured in her ear. "Look how these juicy little morsels swelled up. I bet that lace teased you hard, didn't it? Rubbed up against you like a rough little kitten tongue. I thought about you from the moment I walked in here, thought about these breasts stirring under your blouse. Thought about how wet it must be making you. Thought about how your nipples would feel against my hands, all hard and excited and…" He trailed, almost as if he were unwilling to admit any more.

He pulled her nipples again, hard, and her body arched back against him. She felt his erection press against her ass. The thought that she'd given him that hard-on made her even more excited. She wanted him to ravage her with it.

"All in due time," he whispered in her ear as she moaned.

"More?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, please," she said as politely as she could with her wobbly voice. "Sir," I added, for extra points.

He raised an eyebrow at that and pointed to the desk.

"Go."

Hermione went. Apparently, she had no ability to resist a command from him.

"Bend over and put your hands on the desk." His voice right behind her made me jump, but also made her unbearably happy.

He was silent for so long, Hermione wondered if he'd left. Her pussy was throbbing with anticipation.

Just as she was about to call his name she felt a sharp slap on her ass. The fabric of her skirt protected her, but it didn't stop the heat from slamming into her and leaving her breathless.

"So many times I've wanted to do that," he muttered. "If only to shut you up."

Her protest caught in her throat when his hand landed yet again. And again. Hermione anticipated another slap, but none were forthcoming. Instead he reached under her and unzipped her skirt. He pulled it and her tights down, following his progress to his knees. Her breath hitched when she felt his warm breath on the backs of her trembling thighs. He tapped her right ankle to signal her to lift her foot out of her shoe so he could remove her tights. She lifted the left with no prompting and he laughed.

"Eager little thing, aren't you?"

Finished, he rose again and pressed himself against her. With a jolt, Hermione realised that he was still fully dressed. Surely he wasn't going to fuck her whilst fully clothed?

She forgot all about her concerns when he pulled back and vanished her bra and knickers with a muttered _Divesto_.

"I would ask if you're ready," he said, his voice roughened by lust, "but I can see that you are, even from here." Without warning, he grabbed her arm and pulled her off the desk. At her confused look he rasped, "I want to see you when I fuck you."

Hermione couldn't help but close her eyes as a fresh burst of heat raced down her spine. The man was wicked and unrepentant to the core. Coupled with that voice, he could do serious damage to a woman if she wasn't prepared.

"Sit back on the desk," he ground out. "And spread your legs."

She did so and watched with poorly concealed curiosity as he finally unbuttoned his trousers. _No pants then_, she thought. Looking up then she saw the fire burning in his eyes and she steeled herself for what she knew would quite literally be the fuck of her life.

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><p>Severus Snape was no fool. He knew this witch could have any man she wanted with a crook of her wand. And yet, here she was. Spread for <em>him<em>. Well gods be praised, because for once in his life, he was going to enjoy something in this wretched life. Oh, he'd leave here followed by a cloud of self-loathing for fucking a student, former or not, and she'd move on with her life to _Weasley_ or Krum or any number of other, more appropriate, suitors. But for now, he'd simply enjoy the gift that was Hermione Granger. And if he died tomorrow, well then he'd die the happiest and best-laid man in Britain.

Part of him still couldn't believe he had her here, so close. Stretched out, bare. Wet. All that lush, heated flesh inches from his fingers.

He bent his head, moving his tongue over her damp skin with a soft, heated caress. Exploring. Tasting the skin of her neck. Learning the taste and texture of the woman who would be his lover. Arms no longer able to support her, Hermione collapsed onto the desk with him between her thighs.

"You're beautiful." He'd never had the gift of words, but he'd try his damndest for her.

"Please," she whimpered. Begging for something. She might not know what for, but he did. "What are you asking me for?"

"F..fuck me, suck me, anything," she cried, "please…"

His cock was thick, harder than it had ever been. Already, fluid wept from the plum-colored tip of him. God, he wanted her. And she wanted him. He drank in the tiny moan she gave him as she stretched beneath him, seeking more contact.

Never one for intense bouts of staring during sex, Severus found himself unable to look away as he reached down to angle himself properly. He wanted to know her every thought as he took her. Was it as good for her as it was for him? _Better_?

He drove into her mind as he slid his cock into her body. Her hot, wet pussy was clamped desperately around him, squeezing his cock in a velvet grip, and the sexy little whimpers she was making in his ear were driving him insane. Driving him over the edge. And God, the sense of welcome. Of homecoming. Nothing had prepared him for this. Her mind opened before him as he slid inside her thoughts. Now he truly had all of her. Her emotions overwhelmed him, calmed that terrible thirst.

He wrapped one hand around the back of her neck, holding her still for his kiss. His tongue plunged between her lips, stroking and licking her mouth as if it fascinated him. As if she fascinated him. His hand tangled in her hair, using the long mane to angle her head backward for his deeper kiss. His tongue stroked the roof of her mouth, pressed against her own tongue. Deep, slow strokes that made her grow wetter. Fuller.

Told her exactly what he wanted.

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><p>He smelled so damn good. Of outdoors and heat and some tangy musk that belonged to Severus and Severus alone.<p>

From her perch on her desk, Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist. The change in angle forced him deeper and she broke her mouth away from his as she inhaled sharply.

"_Fuck_," she gasped.

"Indeed," he grated in reply, thrusting harder now.

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><p>Her fingers stroking over the harsh planes of his face, his cheekbones, dragging his face down to hers drove him crazy. Burying his mouth against her pulse, he drew her scent deep inside his lungs.<p>

_Mine_, his mind railed. _Mine_.

Her hips twisted against his, her pussy squeezing his cock with a delicious urgency.

Pleasure twisting through him, he lowered his head to her shoulder and bit. The skin broke and he tasted blood. Her blood. He took her essence deep into himself. Savored the wild, unfamiliar taste of his sweet female. "Mine," he growled, voicing his riotous, lust-driven thoughts. His mouth moved over the small wound, surrounding it in an erotic, wet heat.

Her breath caught. "Yes," she inhaled. "Severus," she wailed. "Now, damn it."

Desperately now, he pushed his thick cock deeper. Intoxicated with the feel of her, he set a demanding rhythm, but her hips were already rising and falling to meet his. When he came, he felt as though he were flying. Flying apart as he desperately poured himself into her. Desperate for her.

The shadow of his Dark Mark burned into life on his forearm. A sexy slide, like invisible fingers stroking along the maddened length of his cock. It must have been the same for Hermione. She shrieked, sliding upward desperately to meet his next thrust. Connected. Came for him in mindless climax, crying out his name.

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><p>The moment his breathing returned to normal he lifted himself off of her and withdrew, leaving Hermione with a disturbing sense of emptiness. He buttoned his trousers and set about picking up her discarded clothing.<p>

As he presented them to her, along with her lost and forgotten underwear, Hermione struggled to find something, _anything_, to say.

_Bloody good fuck, Severus. Thanks._

_Well thank you for shagging me silly, sir. I'll send an owl along with a card sometime this week shall I?"_

Each suggesting her sex-addled brain provided was dismissed as more ridiculous than the last.

In any event, words were unnecessary as he'd left the moment she took her clothing from him without so much as a by your leave.

_Well then_, she thought as she re-dressed. And when she finished, she sat down at her desk and resumed her work.

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><p>Well I guess I set myself up for a sequel, didn't I?<p>

Review and leave me love, please.


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